12 mart. The languages of love. Conscious love means a healthy lifestyle
Author: Dr. Camelia Căpuşan, FLP Manager
Each of us relates differently to love, depending on our personal experience. Love means passion, intimacy and commitment. It is not just about sensuality, but also about the deep knowledge of the other, physically, mentally and spiritually.
“Love is a way of being in the world, a way of seeing yourself and seeing others” (David R. Hawkins).
A healthy lifestyle undoubtedly includes assumed and conscious love! Love does not just include feelings that I want, want or miss, but also respect, appreciate, help you develop and so on. In reality a healthy love is a complex construction that encompasses sensuality, sexuality, but also the intellectual and spiritual; everything that represents us, as humans.
With this in mind, it is obvious that few are really able to adopt a truly healthy lifestyle, that well-balanced wellness.
And it’s not because we don’t all want to be balanced, but because there are people who simply can’t embrace the good. Unfortunately, they do not want to know him and they seem stupid and inefficient to the world we live in.
When your lifestyle is one dominated by love, the ego generally withdraws from the first line of attack, hiding in part. When you live balanced, with love in your soul, your actions help others, they do no harm.
Only then can you say that you have attained that healthy lifestyle, that lifestyle of love.
We can talk about love for parents, siblings, friends, but because we are in the month of love, let’s focus on the love of life partner, couple.
Relationships of love create emotions that can influence our health for better or worse. Studies show that a couple’s relationship with problems can weaken the body’s immunity.
Love, the affection we receive from those around us, plays a decisive role in our development.
Research has shown that, after a hug, blood pressure drops, and the level of cortisol, that stress hormone, also decreases.
THE LANGUAGES OF LOVE
Our affective life is like a “RESERVE”. When the “affective reservoir” of a half of a couple is full and it feels safe in the love / appreciation you receive, the whole world seems more beautiful and the road is smooth towards the maximum potential. If the emotional tank is empty and one of the partners feels used, not loved, the whole life seems darker, and he will never reach his full potential. On the contrary, it can become boring, insufferable, capricious or sad, full of bitterness and resentment.
Love is like a foreign language that can be learned. There are languages of love, in which we express and receive love, and when we speak the language of love of the other, we fill the reservoir of love with one another.
WORDS / DECLARATIONS
Here we include compliments and appreciation, words of encouragement, good words spoken in a quiet tone and those spoken with kindness and respect
QUALITY TIME
We need, in order to create and strengthen harmony, to spend time together, as a couple, giving our partner all our attention. It is good to maintain eye contact when the partner speaks to us; to let go of other concerns while listening; to take into account the feelings of the partner, and especially the body language because it clarifies whether the nonverbal message is in contradiction with the words.
GIFTS
Gifts are concrete symbols of love, and a healthy relationship needs generosity. Give yourself to yourself, first of all because the partner who responds to the language of gifts highly appreciates having you with you in any need.
SERVICES
Whatever you do for the other do it with joy and optimism, so it will become a true expression of love. The prayers direct love, and the commandments prevent it.
PHYSICAL TOUCHING
The care of the children and their comfort will make their emotional lives healthier. Handshakes, kisses, hugs and intimate relationships are expressions of love.
How can you identify YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?
The simplest way to know what you really want in a love relationship is a simple test that includes three questions.
- Of all the things your partner does or doesn’t do, which hurts you the most?
- What did you most often ask your partner? (That request may be exactly the thing that would make you feel he loves you).
- How do you usually express your love for your partner? (This mode may be an indication of your love language).
FORGIVENESS
“To forgive means to release a prisoner and realize that prisoner was you” (Lewis B. Smedes)
Emotions affect our immune system for better and for worse. Happiness heals like a medicine, and bitterness kills like a disease. Bitterness is like an acid, which dissolves its container. Giving up bitterness can dramatically improve the root causes of many physical ailments, often more than surgical or medical measures.
Emotional forgiveness and healing
“Forgiveness is a process, not a transaction.”
Just as we have a habit of always returning to past offenses, we must always return to the decision to forgive. If we want to start the process of renouncing bitterness and liberation, we can go through several successive statements of forgiveness.